Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Joke sms

1]
Santa - Main tumse Shaadi nahi kar sakta.
GF - Kyon!

Santa - Mere ghar wale mana kar rahe hain.
GF - Kaun hai!

Santa - Meri bibi aur baache.


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[2]
Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.

He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said "April fool".

I have pass.


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[3]
Banta ke ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?

Kyon?

Itne saalo baad, itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!


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[4]
Drop the Baby

Why did you drop the baby?

Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.


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[5]
Santa & Lion

How can a Santa kill a Lion?

Santa thinks & thinks hard... & comes to a conclusion: "I'll drink Poison.. & let the Lion eat me."


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[6]
HAVA

Kya bindas hava chal rahi hai,
birdy gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shaane log SMS kar rahe hain,
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain...


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[7]
GREAT

TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!


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8]
MANDIR

Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun,
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon...


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[9]
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible?

B'coz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever you go out network follows.


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[10]
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents.



[11]
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.

And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!


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[12]
KISS KISS

Kiss is not like Nokia…Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike… Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi… Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag… Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga


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[13]
Kitna pyaar karte hai hum unse, kaash unko bhi yeh ehsaas ho jaaye. Magar aisa na ho ke woh hosh mein tab aaye, jab hum gahri neend mein so jaaye.


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[14]
Kafan na dalo mere chehre par,
Meri aadat hai muskurane ki,
Na dafnaon meri laas ko,
Mujhe ummid hai uske aane ki


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[15]
What did one computer say to the other computer?
Megabyte me!!!


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[16]
How can you tell if a blonde was at a computer?
There is white out all over the screen.


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[17]
PHILOSOPHY:small things hurt a lot
Ex:u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...


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[18]
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!


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[19]
Ishq me dil ka tamasa dekha nahi jata,humse tuta hua sisa dekha nahi jata,apne hisse ke sare sms aapko de du kyonki mujhse aapka kangal sms Box dekha nahi ja ta.


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[20]
rani: U know mam, my mother fears a lot while crossing a road!
teacher: How do U know that?
rani: Becoz, she holds my hand while crossing!


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**********************SMS JOKES


[21]
HUMANS fall in love, that's normal...........COWS eat grass, that's ok........BUT when........MONKEYS can press mobile keypads! INCREDIBLE!.....STILL PRESSIN! UNBELIEVABLE!


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[22]
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.


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[23]
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.


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[24]
We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!


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[25]
You are my sweet SONA
I don't want you to KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise I will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA


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[26]
Yanha khuda hai, wahan khuda hai;
yanha khuda hai, wahan khuda hai;
jahan nahin khuda wahan kal khudega.


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If love is sweet why does it hurt,
if love is deep why does it burn,
if love is warm why do we shiver,
if love is tender why do we cry,
if love is forever why do we die.


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[28]
Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge,
kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge,
choice zara sochke karna,
zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge.


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[29]
If you fall in river there is a boat,
If you fall in well there is rope,
But if you fall in love there is no hope.


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[30]
Govt. of India has introduced a new rule:
"Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!!"
You are safe....
Where should i hide?????


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SMS JOKES


[31]
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya.


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32]
A memory lasts forever,
Never does it die,
True friends stay together,
And never say goodbye.


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[33]
Machchar ne aapko kata wo uska JUNUN tha,
aapne khujli ki wo aapka SUKUN tha,
chahkar bhi aapne use nahi mara bcoz uski ragon mein
bhi aapka hi KHOON tha.


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[34]
Roses are red, voilets are blue,
Donkeys like you, are kept in Zoo.


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[35]
Great people talk about ideas,
Average people talk about things,
Small people talk about other people, And
Legends never talk, they send SMS...

[36]
God made a daylight and is called Sun,
God made a entertainment and is called Fun,
God made a nightlight and is called Moon,
God made You and is called Cartoon.


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[37]
Dil mein tumhari tasveer,
Aankhon mein aasoono ke mele hai.
Tumhe kya battain
Tum bin kitne akele hain.


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[38]
I miss you itna, you miss me jitna
I miss you tabse, you miss me jabse
I miss you tab tak, you miss me jab tak
You miss me na janay kab tak, but I miss you murtey dam tak.


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[39]
Wo zindagi hi kya jisme pyar nahi,
Wo pyar hi kya jisme yaden nahi,
Wo yaden he kya jisme tum nahi,
Wo tum hi kya jisme hum nahi.


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The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)

How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist? How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall when wind exist? How can u tell me not to fall in friendship when u exist.

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